At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's never too late to be topless.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
