batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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