so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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