you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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