I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
