i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
