I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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