Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I look better un-naked...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
