So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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