i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
