i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
