it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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