I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize