Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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