What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize