That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I lost the right to judge tonight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
