i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
bring money and cleavage
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
