Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You can't just leave with hair like that
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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