The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
