everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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