saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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