I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize