Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
