you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
