Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
