party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Four minutes until I can fart!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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