do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize