i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
