What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
