I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
