Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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