Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
