ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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