hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So squirting runs in the family.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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