Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
