so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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