So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
third nipple confirmed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
