i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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