Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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