I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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