Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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