Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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