I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
