I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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