You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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