I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
