im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
