How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
