I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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