I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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