i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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