i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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