she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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