Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
