I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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