I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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