Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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