Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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