The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
