I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
